Love of my Life

It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you the love of my life Mark :). Believing God has called us together, we are anxiously anticipating a September wedding. I want to praise God for his direction in bringing us together. Mark is a wonderful godly man. I could type pages on all the things that make him amazing but I wouldn't want to embarass him.


Hope you all have a wonderful week!
Best wishes
~ Laura

FOUND: BLACK DRESS

On my recent trip home, lo and behold I opened my closet and there hung my dress. I'm confident that it was really hiding from me. It was just waiting till I publicly pleaded for assistance before coming home. It is now safely back where it belongs.

:)

MISSING: Black Dress-Reward offered

DESCRIPTION: One sleeveless polyester/spandex/rayon blend black dress. Typically worn with a bell sleeve light blue rayon shirt. Reward: I'll come up with something, most likely related to food as a sincere thank you.

I've come to the conclusion I'm either losing my mind or at least my clothes. I have this black dress that I wear with a blue top. I was wanting to wear that outfit to church the other day. I found the blue top, but no dress. What complicates this is I only wear the blue top with the dress. The two pieces are never worn independently. I can't even begin to fathom what has happened to the dress. The last time I remember wearing it was the beginning of February. I know I wore home from church that day. I don't believe I've traveled with it anywhere nor left at my mom and dad's.

If you have seen my black dress let me know. It floors me that I've lost this thing. Potentially it is just hiding in my closet somewhere.

Holiday decorations

As the seasons change, we have the opportunity to celebrate holidays. I enjoy celebrations as they are often excuses to spend time with those I love. I struggle though with this "decorating for the holidays" thing. It isn't the putting up of decorations or even taking them down that troubles me. Rather is what to do with the pointless dust catchers during the rest of the year.

Currently in my office I have star ornaments hanging from my ceiling, an Easter egg in a pail on my desk, and a nativity scene by my computer. I could put them in one of my desk drawers along with the Christmas stacking boxes and some packing tape but the drawer doesn't shut without a firm push. So I opt for the eclectic look in my office decorations.

When I took my Christmas decorations down in my apartment in February this year, I then shipped them back to Mom and Dad's house for storage. I don't want to waste what little storage space I have on a fake Christmas tree.

Thankfully with the upcoming spring holidays (Mother's Day, my birthday, etc...) we appreciate the handiwork of God as he revives the earth and avoid tarnishing it with flashing lights. I'm thinking about taking the minimalist approach when it comes to holiday decorating. While Christmas towels may make me appear more domestic, I think using a basic kitchen towel to dry my dishes really is.

As if money could buy happiness

Last night at the gym, I was looking for a decent magazine to read while using the stair-stepper. Due to my aversion to the trash available in typical "female" magazines such as Cosmo or Glamour, I opted for Money magazine. Everyone is at least completely dressed.

Yet as I turned through the pages, I recognized that a lot of the material was just as evil as that which appears in the fashion magazines. Every article discussed ways to increase cash flow, maximize your portfolio, avoid paying extra taxes etc... Now individually each of these is not inherently evil. It is the focus on the gain which corrupts us. For money is not the root of all evil but the love there of. I find myself in my own inner war after reading this material. "Am I saving enough?" "Should I be pursuing a better job?"

Every time God quietly whispers in my heart "What more do you need? Aren't I enough? When have I failed you?" I'm instantly humbled at my selfishness and lack of trust. God has more than supplied my need. To much is given, much is required. I'm responsible for using whatever I have to his glory.

As Christians it is easy to caught up on the "more is better" mind set that is so prevalent in America. Pay raises are celebrated. Promotions lauded as one climbs the corporate ladder. Those the most admired in society come not from those of strong moral character but those who have the greatest material wealth. We take time away from the ones we love to provide "for their needs." While work is necessary and God warns us not to be slothful or lazy. We can take this charge to a great extreme. Last I checked most children would prefer mom or dad spent that extra hour reading them a story then buying them the computer program that could read it to them.

Success is related to the size of your portfolio. While I will always advocate financial responsibility, I don't want to fall in the trap of constantly looking for more. It is sometimes more difficult to be content when you have more than enough. We forget to be thankful that our needs are met and hence think that happiness will only come at the acquisition of more.

I challenge the idea that America's material wealth is a truly a blessing. Blessings are gifts of God that draw us closer to him and bring glory to his name. God's provision to meet our most basic needs is the blessing. I think all that is above that can easily become our greatest curse.

Back in the office

2 weeks...I've decided that I need to make all business trips at least 2 weeks long. I just returned from Indianapolis with a huge stack of paper and an inbox crowded with e-mails. The trip was only 3 days long. I knew I was busy most days and I'm beginning to understand why...all I do is return e-mail and answer questions.

When I'm out of the office for a week or longer, most people find out the answers to their questions through another source. Only 3 days...Especially the last 3 days of the week, people are willing to wait until I return. I should tell people I'm coming back a day later than I am. It may give me a chance at catching up.

To help me see...

As long as I can remember, I've had poor vision. I got my first pair of glasses at four years old. They were horrible large plastic things that made me look anything but cute. I'd post a picture but looking at them may scar your impression of me. Ever since those awful childhood days, I've been very paranoid about choosing the right pair of glasses. It took me about 6 months to purchase the new pair I picked up yesterday. It took me a long time to wear glasses in public. But graduate school and lack of sleep, makes putting the contacts in a daunting task. Vanity quickly takes a back seat.

My prescription hasn't changed much in the past 20+years. I am slightly near-sighted and when my eyes cross I see two of everything. It's this double-vision that causes the most troubles. The two objects move a bit and it gives me a headache. It will drain me of my energy real quick. With a great deal of effort, I usually can force my eyes to refocus. The movement though of my right eye sometimes freaks people out, so I just tend to keep my glasses on/contacts in.

I have had many incidents with my glasses and contacts. When I was 7 or so, I was riding my bike and due to the bounciness of our gravel lane the glasses fell off my face. Imagine my surprise. Since I no longer could see very well and wasn't overally balanced on the bike in the first place, I promptly ran over them destroying my glasses.

When my baby sister was born, we stayed with my Aunt. In effort to help clean my large ugly plastic glasses, she accidentally broke the rim on the right side. My lens would then periodically fall out. This was rather embarrassing as a 6th grader to have the entire class here this light clamor as my lens would hit the floor. With a new baby in the house, it was over a month before my mom took me to get new glasses. I went with wire frames after that.

My baby sister also was the first one to poke my contact out of my eye. I had only had them for 2 days when she deftly reached up with that chubby arm and pushed it out. We were able to recover it from her carseat. After many other similar incidences I'm confident her pointer finger has a magnetic connection with my eyeball.

I'm ever thankfully that we have the technology to correct my poor vision. Otherwise...(sigh) never mind, it gives me nightmares just to think about it so I'm not going to.

Never know how much you own till you move

I'm not moving but my sister is. In order to be a helpful loving sister, I'm aiding her in this task next weekend. As I was home for the Easter holiday, I allowed my car to be filled with random items to take to her new apartment. I get to drive around with the stuff for the rest of the week till I head out there.

My sister has been living at home since last August. Before that she lived in a dorm, sorority house, and small apartment (which she did not supply any of the big furniture). Despite this, she has unbelievable amounts of stuff to move out. You'd think it just be a few things. No, my CRV is very full and it didn't put a dent in the pile of stuff. At times it blows my mind away at how much stuff we "need" to function.

I know when it comes time for me to move it will only be worse. I've had time to accumulate a large variety of things to fill my small 1 bedroom apartment. It almost frightens me. I'm going to strive to be a minimalist but if we look back to my packing issues, I doubt my chances for success.

I highly recommend moving every couple of years. It forces you to get rid of things you don't really need or for that matter even use.

Parasailing and coconut trees

I've never been parasailing. Given my irrational fear of heights this probably shouldn't surprise me. It is not beyond all imagination that I would enjoy it, but I haven't had the opportunity yet. In a recent work discussion about risk and thrill seeking, my co-worker Molly admitted that parasailing was not the experience she thought it would be.

Being slightly directionally challenged, she would frequently lean the wrong direction, pull the wrong cord etc...during her parasailing experience. Usually there was enough space and time that she could correct herself. Usually...

One fateful wrong pull of the cord, sent her spiraling downward right into a coconut tree. Fortunately the parasail caught in the branches to prevent her from crashing to the ground. She had to "hang out" in the tree for a little while, till they could come cut her down.

She walked away with a few scratches and a thoroughly bruised ego. Parasailing sounds fun but the thought of being suspended in a coconut tree diminishes it's appeal.

Sandals...not a good idea even if it is April

I love wearing sandals. My toes find them incredibly freeing. They also look very nice with a skirt. As a tall primarily skirt wearer, I find that sandals provide the flexibility necessary to appear fashionably competent.

I typically wear sandals majority of the time from April-October. It is always a sad day when I pack them up for the winter. I should also comment that I get cold very easily. My finger nails and toes frequently turn a disturbing shade of blue when I get cold.

As it is now the beginning of April I felt that it was time to break out the sandals. This weekend wasn't so bad but I was indoors most of the time. My apartment was warm last night so I figured despite the cloudy day I could wear my sandals again. HUGE mistake. It is rainy, cloudy and blowing. My feet are wet and freezing. This feeling has spread throughout my body due to the draftiness of my skirt. Sometimes I begin to shake just enough to make typing difficult.

Oh well, I'll know better tomorrow. I just hope the space heater in my office doesn't blow the circuit breaker again.

Conserving energy

As energy costs continue to rise, businesses are looking for ways to reduce the use of these resources. Hotels with in-room temperature controls face a great inefficiency with the use of energy. Patrons often check into their room, turn on the system and leave for hours at a time. This allows the room to be set at a comfortable temperature while no one is there to enjoy it.

I'm currently in Chicago at the Sheraton. To conserve energy they have attached the activation of heating/cooling system to the deadbolt on the door. This requires that we are in the room before the system can be activated.

I actually appreciate the ingenuity of the system. They have it well marked on both the deadbolt and the heating/cooling unit. A on/off system may make it uncomfortable for the hotel guest during they stay. Yet complete access the system creates a lot of waste.

The only problem with the system is when not all the parties are in the room at the same time. My sisters and mom joined me for part of this trip. My sister often would go out later in the evening with friends living downtown. We couldn't lock the deadbolt lest she not be able to enter when she returned. Yet sitting in the hot room proved to be very uncomfortable.

We were able to resolve these issues with the use of cell phones but it proves that even the most ingenious of systems have their flaws.

Feeding the VCR

Pregnancy comes with a host of physical side-effects (so I've heard). To maintain any level of sanity, expectant mothers need time to rest. Unfortantely if this is child number 2, 3 or 11 the other children in the house make this a daunting task. When Julie was pregnant with her second child, she would shut lock the door of her living room from the inside to rest on the couch while Adam played. With a locked baby-proof living room, she was confident she'd awake if disaster struck.

Julie is a rather sound sleeper and wanted to be assured her 3-year old boy would be entertained while she rested. She covered the entire east wall with paper and posterboard. Markers and crayons created the ideal graffiti experience for this creative 3-year old.

Adam also was a constant snacker. A sippy cup of water, bowl of cheerieos and small PBJ sandwiches sustained him during this time of rest.

Julie would pop a video in the VCR, lay down on the couch to "rest her eyes" for a few moments while Adam contentedly played. As aforementioned, Adam snacked quite a bit. The ever caring child he was concerned the the TV would get hungry. He quietly wandered over the VCR, stuck in a cheerio and ba-da-bing! it disappeared. Assuming the TV had swallowed it and was still hungry he continued to feed the TV his PJB sandwiches.

Julie awoke to Adam asking the TV if it was "full yet." The VCR is no longer hungry as none of us are once we die :).

Perms and highlights...are they different?

In my early twenties I decided I wanted to add some zip to my life, by this I mean changing my hair. I'm not an overly high-maintenance chick when it comes to my looks. I appreciate appearing well groomed and enjoy picking out clothes but I don't tend to spend a lot of time on this endeavor.

I decided that a few blonde highlights would be a lot of fun. As time progressed and I kept re-highlighting my hair, it becomes more and more blonde. If you look at my family picture in the HOME post below you'll see I'm definitely brunette.

I never intended for it to get as blonde as it did. It wasn't till this past October that I finally was sick of spending the money and time. My fabulous hairstylist Melissa was able to accurately match my natural color with a dye to return it to a presentable state.

The Bible says the "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised." Proverbs 31:30. Many dear friends (often more jokingly than serious) said that my highlights were not Godly as they promoted vanity and changed the way God made me. Yet this same standard did not apply to the perm. When questioned about this discrepancy few had a good answer.

Perms it seems are considered less "out there" than anything associated with dye. Even though the same to criteria for why the highlights were "bad" applied, many did not possess the same strong feelings towards a perm. Illustrating the dislike of the highlights probably had more to do with personal preference than sound argument.

I do not feel that either is really a problem. It probably goes under the category of not "unlawful but not necessarily expedient." Not horrible to do but probably my time and money could be used better elsewhere.

just lost my post

Alright I just wrote this beautiful post on spring and the beauty of a spring storm. But my computer did something odd and I lost it. I'm feeling a sudden lost of inspiration so I'll just go with.

"Change comes a surely as the seasons and twice as quick."

Just as the spring storm cleanses the staleness of winter. I long for this change of seasons to renew my tired heart.

Promises Made-Promises Kept

Many years ago (about 8 actually) when I first was convicted by the call of Christ, I remember having many what seem like now silly objections. I made a promise to a dear friend of mine that I would resolve these issues and repent by the time we graduate high school. By the grace of God I kept that promise.

I've always strive to be a woman of my word. I want people to trust what I have to say without a legally binding document. I have not always succeeded in this but it is one my personal "life goals." (If you'd like to know more about my life goals you'll have to ask).

Part of any life goal is an accompanying behavioral action used to help ensure success. This requires I never make a promise that something will happen that I cannot fulfill myself. If I am not physically, emotionally, intellectually, etc... capable of completing a task, I will not say it will happen. If I say I'm going to do something, I will do it (barring unforeseen natural disasters).

Another behavior based action is to enact this life goal is to proactively contact any person to which I'm not going to be able to fulfill their request versus waiting for them to figure out I haven't done it yet. I try to do all of these either in-person or worst case over the phone. E-mail is not a good way to disappoint someone.

So my promise to you is...I'll do my best, via the grace of God, to be a woman of my word.

Home

"Home is where the people who love you live." I received a bit of ribbing that I still consider my parents house "home." It's not that I dislike South Bend or am not content here...but that doesn't make it home.

After the past 1.5 years, one would think maybe my perspective would change. I am able to drive around town and not get lost. I have numerous friends that I enjoy being with. I have a blessed church to worship with. I know where most things are in town. Yet it doesn't possess the feeling of absolute comfort of home. Purdue felt more like home in a few months that South Bend has yet to achieve.

I think it is because the people who I love the most and who love me, don't live here. It's not that I'm pathetically alone here. I have wonderful church brothers and sisters and some great friends. Yet they aren't my family.

My family who I talk to each member of at least once a week. People who I can call, say I'm bored and we'll have no trouble filling the time with conversation. It's ok to cry, be annoyed, or whatever. People I understand so well that I know what makes them happy, sad and so on.

I have attached a picture of my fabulous family. I can't praise God enough for them. We are all so different but we share a common love and devotion to each other that makes me understand why family is so important.

Offering options versus giving advice

As a rather opinionated individual, I find it difficult not to share my thoughts. It's not that I expect people to do what I say (even though I'm usually right -just kidding...sort of). It would just pain me to see someone do something because they didn't know any better and I did know better. Yet, it is socially taboo and generally not polite to spoon people advice. Typically as the advice giver you are only dealing with the facts of the situation. Most life experiences are compounded by a emotional and spiritual components that make the intellectually logical, illogical. The advice giver fails to account for these components and is incapable of fully comprehending them due their deeply personal ties to the other person.

Despite these social barriers, people may approach you seeking assistance. Sometimes all they want is someone to listen to them and be a shoulder to cry on. Other times they really do need information. Presenting this information as straight up advice has some inherent problems.

1. You may inadvertently pressure the individual into doing things that are against their best interest. People have weird feelings of guilt when the choose not to follow another individual's advice. They may have very good reasons for not adhering to the advice or maybe the don't. Either way it make an additional right/wrong dilemma that may be unnecessary.

2. As the advice giver, you are maintaining control of the situation. The old saying "Give a man a fish you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish you'll feed him for a lifetime." The same goes with advice. Helping individuals in crisis remember they are competent and capable of making decisions strengthens them for the times they have to make those tough choices on their own.

3. You may be wrong. By telling someone to do something that then doesn't work out so well, you can betray their trust and confidence. This can have extreme negative effects on your relationship hence forth.

Offering different options allows that decision to be made by the individual. It is even fine to share what option you would choose if ask. Yet the choice must always be left to the individual. They should not be forced in justifying their decision. "Why?" is probably one of the most damaging questions to a relationship. You may be really seeking "what" their reasons or motivations were. Using "what" versus "why" eliminates the overshadowing doubt you may have in their response. It encourages the exchange of information without passing unnecessary judgment.

So my advice is...just kidding.

Not sure about pets

After living alone for the past 1.5 years, I've been tediously praying/searching for a roommate. I've had several situations that I thought would work out and then God chose to shut those doors. Many friends/family have suggested I get a pet. Now if you don't know me well, this idea is not going to spark a great deal of enthusiasm.

For starters, I'm don't like the way fur feels or smells. I find it somewhat dirty. Some people are able to still maintain a clean home despite their indoor pets, I'm not sure I'm willing to take that risk.

Secondly, my apartment complex does not allow pets. This actually excited me when I moved in. I believe I said to the rental agent "I don't want pets and I really don't want to live around people who do." Yes this sounds harsh, but the thought of being kept awake at 3:30 every Monday and Thursday morning because the neighbor's dog is barking at the garbage collector really doesn't appeal to me.

I'm also not a pet-cuddle person. Give me a kid or person suitable for hugging and I'm all about it. I love to hug etc...well we'll go with most of the time. Every now and then I get protective of my bubble. Research has shown that the average American woman needs to be lovingly touched 8-12 times per day to promote good health. Yet pets just don't meet that need for me. I don't have a desire to pet them or scratch their head. My brother used to force my hand to pet our dog Bailey at home. I just cannot establish that emotional connection.

Finally, I'm not home enough to be a good pet owner. With my current class on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, I'm not home from 8 a.m. till 9:30 p.m. The other evenings I often have stuff going on plus work during the day. Also since most of my friends and family do not live in South Bend, I do a lot of travel. What would I do with a pet during my crazy weekends?

I currently do have one pet, he is a fish named Russ. He can go easily 5 days without being fed, he never demands extra attention, and he is a fabulous listener. While I appreciate everyone's suggestions, I'm not sure that a pet will make a suitable roommate for me.

In what I know or who I know

One of the most over-used quotes in business is "it's not what you know but who you know." While this saying has a great deal of truth to it, never does it resonate more than in our spiritual life.

The Bible makes it clear that though we have all knowledge, wisdom, and understand unless we love we have nothing. Our works mean nothing unless we know Christ.

When I'm looking for direction in my life, I pray for God to show me which way to go. Often I have a reasonably concrete idea in my head of where that is. I then take confidence in that "I know God's will for my life." It saddens me how quickly have misconstrued the purpose of knowing God's will. God's will for my life is that I love him, that I recognize his Son Jesus as his Savior, and that I do my part to bring others to this wonderful knowledge.

Bible study is a good thing. Knowing how God has worked before and his directions are essential to understanding his spirit. Yet I pray we take confidence in that we know Christ...not in what we know.

Signs of Courtesy

"Service excellence" or "Superior Customer Service" businesses strive to cultivate customer loyalty by providing excellent service. Regardless of industry, it almost always more cost effective to retain a current customer than to attract a new customer. I believe this customer service focus isn't reflective of a more customer-friendly approach to business but rather a deterioration of basic politeness in our society.

It is no longer expected that people are nice to one another. A friend and I ate at Wendy's today. I noted a 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper with tips for excellent customer service. The list contained a list of behaviors that I thought all of our mothers taught us. The final concluded with "Just Be Nice." It saddened me to think that we've forgotten how to respect each other as people.

Unfortunately a lack of customer service may be a result of a more demanding public versus a failing of the employee. I have seen numerous checkers yelled at for a long wait or their food wasn't done properly. Many were screaming at a person other than the one at fault. Even if the employee did make a mistake, it rarely is justification for extreme fits of anger. I don't need to make others suffer to find relief for frustration.

In our egocentric society, we are continually looking out for "#1" When we begin to see others as living souls, it is naturally easier to show them compassion and concern. I'm not striving for a meaningless "How may I help you?" but rather that I acknowledge that person as a human being. As customers, it would probably drastically improve our customer service if we showed those who serve us a little compassion.

All of us are served by someone and all of us serve others. It is in the environment of mutual respect and compassion that we will all succeed. I recognize that I won't be able to change the mentality of the world but I'll try to do my part and not yell at the Wendy's order taker because my potato was cold.